Love vs Being in Love

While both are often used interchangeably they are not the same. “Love” is often something you choose, you can select who you love. You look at their personality, connection, morals etc., and decide “ I really love hanging out with this person They make ME feel good.” Because it feels good you soak it all up, but when it doesn’t feel good you can make the choice to let it go.

“Being in Love”, well that’s a bit different, you don’t select this, it just happens. When it comes to being in love you focus more on making THEM feel good. What makes this so different is what when it doesn’t feel good, the choice to let go is not so easy. Even when you do manage to walk out, the feeling sticks around so much longer. This is because being in love comes with more emotion, affections and attachment. It is what allows you to go past the honeymoon stage and have an argument and still make up afterwards.

One of the biggest signs of being in love is that you care deeply about their wellbeing and making them feel appreciated. This does not mean forgetting about yourself, instead it’s about you feeling good in exchange because you know they are feeling good.

Another good sign is that even repeated moments are still exciting. Whether it’s the ongoing Friday night movie tradition or talking about your first drive in together, you look forward to that moment and all the feeling it brings. You might even find yourself engaging in things that may not be your favourite, but it’s all about compromise, because your favourite person feels good.  

You can go longer without hearing from them: There was a period in time when you felt like you needed to speak to or hear from them every moment. Of course things fade and find a groove. However, if your groove becomes so slow that it’s almost forgetful and forget about them more than remember. It’s not that you don't care or love them as a person, it might speak more to them not being your person.

When you think about your near future, they aren’t part of it: While we can’t predict the future, our mind often drifts to what we would like it to look like and who we would like in it. If you frequently take trips to the future and they are not included, it might speak to a lack of emotional connection associated with being in love.

You only notice their flaws: Now there is no such thing as a perfect person, nowhere. But there is what is called “your perfect person” the one that comes with flaws that you consider quirky instead of annoying, because all the things you love about them balance out that irritating feeling.